LitBlog
Just a LIT-tle bit about everything... education, travel, books... and whatever else strikes my interests.
This week I spent at least 7 hours a day in my classroom, unpacking, organizing, creating lessons, recording videos, creating pacing guides. Two of my colleagues came to meet me for a few hours so we could collaborate and get a game plan for the upcoming school year. I talked with full year staff including custodians, admins, & our Ag. Science teacher working more leisurely than usual, in summer work mode. And then there was me, showing up with my teacher bag full of ideas I've been curating over the summer, and a new laptop complete with fresh software I plan to wear out trying to flip my classroom in the upcoming semester. Everyone asks me why I would drive the hour commute I make all school year, just to come up to the school and work. Everyone wants to know why I would give up my precious summer days to think about slides and lessons and what new edtech I am going to try. "Don't stress yourself out" I was told by my friend. "We'll be back in the swing of things in a few week. Why don't you just relax?" The fact of the matter is I am relaxing. I enjoy my work. I love putting together interactive slides with moving icons & different transitions. I have recently discovered how easy it could be to flip my classroom and give my kids more autonomy over learning the content & I'm thrilled with the idea of jumping into the project. I am a teeny bit jealous as I follow friends, colleagues, & strangers attending conferences like #ISTE19, SREB, & #2019UTC. I am excited at getting a full unit of lessons basically completed before the year even starts. I am wired with excitement as I think about the ways my new classroom is going to allow me to better connect with my students both personally & over content. My StoryEver since I can remember I wanted to be a teacher, forcing the neighborhood kids to "play school" with me. I was never particularly outgoing, being quiet and shy in most instances. I was a good student, never the smartest, but my teachers mostly made me feel welcome in their classrooms, talked to me about school and personal things, even sometimes letting me sit in their rooms after school and do work or help them. I was part of a Future Teachers of America club at my school, participated in shadow day - getting to follow one or another of my favorite teachers around for the day. I went to college, knowing what my major would be. I completed student teaching, despite one of my 2 high school cooperating teachers telling me if I didn't step up & get better he would give me failing marks. Thankfully I "passed" that part of student teaching and went on to find a particularly inspiring mentor in my middle school placement, renewing my faith in my abilities. I graduated, magna cum laude, and had hopes of getting a teaching job. In New York. In 2007. When teachers, especially in the area I lived, decided they would work well passed their required ages due to everything going on in the economy. So I keep working full time at my retail job, not hating it, definitely not loving it, but it allowed me to make money and do the things I wanted to. I climbed slowly, always being more eager to learn and take on new tasks, go to trainings, help out where I was needed. In 2014, I accepted a management position, due to my knowledge of all things retail, as well as some knowledge of the lumber & building material sales side of the company I worked for. I was the right candidate to help one of our 8 locations open a new lumber yard. I was not particularlly thrilled with my new commute, or leaving the co-workers I had built relationships, but I was happy to be climbing the ladder. I had resigned myself to the fact that I problably wouldn't ever become a teacher, having put my masters program on hold so I could focus on making money and growing in the company I had invested almost 9 years in. In 2015, I considered going back to school to get my MBA & hopefully move into a new position, something outside of the drudgery of retail management. But, alas, the universe intervened. I hit a car head on and broke my arm. I needed surgery and would be out of work for 4 months. This gave me time to think. My husband and I wanted something more for ourselves than saving money and trying to scrape by in New York. We had dreamed of moving to Myrtle Beach, SC, the place of our first vacation together 3 weeks after we'd met. So I began looking for a retail management position and landed myself an interview. My mother, aunt, and I trekked to South Carolina, where I secured myself a new job. We picked up & left less than a month later. I hated every minute of the job we'd left everything for. I started looking, on the day I started my new job, for something else, anything else. When I say I hated it, I ABSOLUTELY, DEEPLY, TRULY, with every fiber of my being, hated my new job. I was miserable & I gave up everything in New York to move here for it. My mom told me to look into teaching & I can remember on that phone call, on my way into work at 9 pm for inventory, telling her I WAS NOT going into teaching. I had, however, gotten an email from a district near by that was looking for teachers, which I promptly forwarded to my best friend in New York, hoping to convince her she'd have an easier time finding a job here, than in NY. She didn't want to leave NY she told me. But, she'd sent her resume in, had a Skype interview, and had been offered a job! She called me about 3 weeks later and told me she'd be moving down on Aug. 1. I was thrilled my friend was coming & that she'd finally found a job. A few weeks into the school year she'd casually mentioned they were still looking for teachers when I complained about how bad my current job was. I was not applying, NOPE, not happening... But, I decided, how bad could it be to check the job out online. Then, what was the worst that happened, I went for the interview & didn't get it, Then, could it be any worse than the job I currently had? I interviewed with the principal, she gave me a tour of the school, I'd given her my roughly thrown together portfolio from college & some of my former bosses information for references, and I'd left. Calling one of my references as I pulled out of the parking lot. He told me she'd already called him, in the time it took for me to get to the parking lot, take a few deep breaths and pull onto the road leading to the high way. She'd said it was the longest interview she'd had, because she enjoyed the conversation. He'd shared some good things with her in the few minute long call, and he was positive I was a shoe in. I waited patiently to hear from the District office later the next week and was told I could start on September 15. My dreams, the one's I had squashed down & all but stopped myself from bringing true were finally complete. 4 Years Later...I cannot describe the breathtaking excitement I get from thinking about the upcoming school year, my new & former students, & making a difference in the lives of others. I am giddy with the thought that maybe I can be for someone, what my teachers were for me. Every year seems to get a little bit easier & a little more difficult. Last year I can say there were multiple days I was miserable, not wanting to go on. NONE of this had to do with my students, colleagues, administrators, or even the paperwork. It was me. I had stopped planning and preparing the way I had in the past. Not because it was difficult, but because I had the slides, notes, & activities tthat had worked to get my students to pass a test. I thought I had it all figured out. I went to conferences, chatted on twitter, read books, & tried to figure out ways to make myself less miserable. My colleagues noticed, & tried to encourage me. My husband & friends noticed, & tried to help distract me. My admins noticed & told me I was doing too much, that I should consider focusing my efforts, so I could excel in 1 or 2 areas, rather than the 5-10 I was currently working on. And then the year was over, many of my kids had grown, even if their standardized test scores were lower than anyone wanted. I beat myself up for failing my kids, failing myself - knowing I could have done better for them and for me. I attended two conferences right after the school year ended & it finally hit me. I was miserable because of me. I had stopped doing the things that brought me joy in the classroom,not because I was too busy, or because I was doing too many things.I got in my own way, thinking I knew what I was doing, & had it all figured out! So... why do I work over the summer?I work because preparing lessons & slides & videos bring me joy. I work because I know this prep will make me less stressed out when the year starts. I work because I want to be happy with the classroom I create for my students next year. I work because I have the time & freedom to do so, coming & going from the school & the library pretty much as I please, working on my terms & no one else's. I work, because I am a perfectionist, trying to break out of a cycle of perfectionism & I know it takes time. I work because I love this job I have always wanted & thought I might never get a chance to have. I give teaching my all now, because it is my first love, my calling, & pretty much the best, more important job in the world. I know in a few years I won't be able to spend my summers working everyday, sitting in my classroom or the library for hours, making slides & notes. I know someday I'll have children of my own to care for, to teach, & to watch grow. I am excited to start the new school year. I am excited to learn from my colleagues, new & old. I am hopefully I will be assigned a mentee this upcoming year & I am excited about being in a position that I can share some wisdom & insight with my colleagues - whether I'm assigned an official mentee or not.
Thanks for reading! Happy Learning! Mrs. Lit 🔥
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AuthorJust a nerdy history teacher trying to share history and education with the world. #historynerd #edutechnerd #iloveSumterSCschools #ChangingLivesOneStudentAtATime Archives
July 2019
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